20 Years, 20 Lessons, & Countless Obstacles Later

Often times I’m told I’ve seen and experienced a lot in life, and when talking about these times with others, I realized I often relay back to certain underlying themes that I’ve accumulated from each experience, no matter how different each memory was from the rest.

One concept I came across is “The Theory of Emerging Adulthood” which was born when scholars researched and explored the lives of a majority of people in their 20s especially within Western culture. It was found that they go through ambiguous periods of waiting and figuring things out while transitioning inbetween stages from youth to adult. While the traditional ideas of adulthood included getting a steady job right after graduation, marriage, home and then kids, all consecutively, today’s ways have changed. More people are traveling in their 20s, switching jobs, living with their parents, and delaying marriage, all of which are completely acceptable.

I think that before, after, and during all of the changes that are thrown your way in this time it’s super important to keep some lessons in mind, especially when things get hard:

1. I bring my own weather to the picnic.

2. Whether I believe in heaven and hell as places we end up, I definitely see them as people in life. Hell is some people, heaven is other people.

3. Things will get harder before they get better but don’t lose hope.

4. Every medicine can become poison- cheese, social media, coffee, cardio, work…

5. Now is now and although the days are long, the years are short.

1. You don’t have to have yourself figured out. You never stop learning about who you are and growing in what you want when it comes to work and love. Ignore the aunties when they pester you about jobs, marriage and kids. Don’t force any of it and let it come naturally because it’s all a learning experience to your unique story.

2. In a world full of bigots, always stay grounded.

3. Find someone to compliment you, not to fill your voids.

4. Everyone enters your life for a reason and at the same time, don’t forget that each passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.

5. You deserve more than painful, draining love. Accept that. Find one that’s energizing and helps you grow into everything you aspire to become.

6. If he says to change your outfit, change your mans. Be your own kind of beautiful.

7. Don’t make excuses, apologize. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone fails, get back up and go achieve your dreams because the one thing all successful people have in common is that they never gave up.

8. Don't hesitate on the memories: experience it all. Invest in memories more than materialistic things.

9. Mental self care is just as important as physical self care and love. Take that day off just as you would if you had a fever.

10. It’s okay to not know what’s next. The in-between, confused feeling is not a bad sign. Nobody has it all figured out.

11. Forgive not to give grace to someone, but rather so you don’t let your enemy take away your inner peace.

12. When you have a “gut feeling” about something it isn’t just a euphemism. The tension in your abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales. Trust it.

13. Why try to fit into the glass slipper when you were made to break the glass ceiling.

14. When we’re young, parents claim to show love and care through yelling and scolding which shapes what we look for in a significant other. It’s not. Don’t let someone make excuses and hurt you. You deserve more.

15. Don’t expect the people who surround you to change. Instead, change your surroundings.

Obviously these aren’t rules of life but just things i’ve really heavily felt from the head and heart and like to live by. I wish you all the success and happiness too so keep stuntin’ on them and doing everything wholeheartedly.

Love,

Pri