Do My Shorts Make You Uncomfortable?

As a female especially, I’ve grown up experiencing the unfortunate struggles of what should be insignificant things, like walking outside alone at night and wearing skirts above my knees. The issues associated with those start beyond being cat-called and being sent home from school, and are actually formed in our homes/communities. I can almost guarantee that everyone can think of "that one auntie” who is judgmental beyond belief, or “that guy” with the most sexist of mindsets. They bash you for showing your shoulders and even criticize you for dressing “differently” before heading out.

“Who are you trying to impress?”

“You go to school for an education not a fashion show.”

“Who are you wearing makeup for?”

When I was 13, I remember going out to a national park with my family and old friends of my parents. On that beautiful day, we explored so much of nature and of course had to document it. I had been so excited to go out in my new Abercrombie top, soft blue shorts, and was definitely comfortable in them, especially in that east coast summer heat. So, obviously I was keen to take a picture when my dad told me to pose.

Less than a minute after this picture was taken, one of the aunties with us pulled me aside and scowled me, not for my “DIY” home-cut bangs, but rather for the so called “inappropriate shorts” I had been wearing.

“What do you think you’re doing? You should not be wearing pants so short, there are boys and uncles here. This is disgusting. Your mother should’ve raised you better.”

Confused and innocent, I felt ashamed and did as she told me to, by pulling them down a bit and tying a sweatshirt to my waist, making me feel more insignificant than ever.

Looking back of course I wonder why women bring women down, and body shame each other while only looking out for a guy’s thoughts. At the end of the day we’re all beautiful, important, worth it, and how much skin we show should never be the determining factor for our self worth. Who cares if an uncle sees my legs? It shouldn’t matter, because I’m not an object to be sexualized, not now, not ever, and especially not at the age of 13.

Even in college, I’ve been asked by OTHER FEMALES how my boyfriend at the time “lets me go out in that.” Once, after an incident like that, I explained the whole situation to him and how what the girl had said was out of place, let alone sad that she had such a close minded and skewed mindset. All of this venting and explaining, only to be put down and scolded for my outfit choice by him as well. The guy who’s supposed to be my other half, my main hype man, and my biggest supporter.

I was so perplexed.

It appalled me that he carried the same mindset as her and even felt the need to raise his voice about it. Instead of fighting back, I asked him what an indian saree is.

“What do you mean?”

I explained how, the same clothes I was being bashed for, are styled into typical indian clothes that our mothers, grandmothers and sisters wear. How is a crop top any different from an Indian blouse? Both show midriff and god forbid have a neckline? Amazing right? Imagine the world not being flipped upside down over a girl’s choice of what shirt to throw on.

I’ve grown to realize that these comments are trivial. I wear what I want to wear because if I feel cute and confident, nobody’s opinion matters otherwise. I’m here to please myself first and foremost before anyone else. Along with that, I’ve come such a long way to finally have some love for my body, be proud of my actions, so nobody should have the power to take that away from me.